DISTORTS ILLUSTRATED

The Huffington Post has breaking news that could mean the recall of Senator-elect Scott Brown.

According to the HuffPo, the scandal-ridden new senator not only posed nude - nude, I say - in Cosmopolitan Magazine in the early 1980's when he was a college student, but it turns out the scandal-ridden fruit doesn't fall far from the scandal-ridden tree. 

Brown's wife, Gail Huff, apparently has a "racy" streak herself.  Turns out Mrs. Brown went topless in a music video.  Sure, it was in 1984 and all you see is her bare back as she dives into the water, but it's still a scandal. 

Just ask the Huffington Post.

But it gets worse.

Apparently the Browns pathological clothing aversion is genetic and was passed down to their two scandalous daughters.  Featured on the HuffPo is a scandalous picture of the two little lolitas in - gasp -

bikinis!!

While, of all things, on vacation!

Tramps.

But wait, there's more.

Apparently, Mrs. Brown has also had a secret life while her husband has been on the campaign trail.  It turns out the duplicitous Mrs. Brown is actually a career woman.  I know, I know, I had to sit down when I heard that, too.  I'm sorry to say that it gets worse, so you might want to brace yourselves.

This alleged job she holds is the sneakiest, most undercover employment you could ever imagine.

She's a veteran on-air reporter for a Boston news channel.

Start the recall process immediately!  How dare the people of Massachusetts saddle us with these horrible people who are attractive, have no morals and actually work for a living! 

THE NERVE!

DISTORTS ILLUSTRATED